Beloved, I wrote the enclosed letters in a time of being lifted up through inner dying in great joy...therefore to read it outside of such a state of heavenly joy would be difficult. In such a place there is no fear and boldness is easy and all things achievable in the Lord and simple. But outside of that place things become challenging and directive and even divisive. So right here and now I want to say, please, please understand that I love you just the way you are and I don’t want anything to change and I don’t want to change you, you are already perfect just as you are. You don’t need to do anything different; and I am not trying to push you in any direction whatsoever: to do so would be very wrong of me, very wrong indeed. Then when you read the enclosed letters please bear all this in mind. I am not trying to achieve anything. I love how things are between us I couldn’t bear for anything to change. It brings me precious peace and wholeness the way we are already living our lives in him and I don’t want anything to alter it.
One reason why I have not really tried to get anything I have written published is that I don’t want my life to be different; I am happy with the peace and simplicity in my quiet life. And I am happy with that in your own life, beloved. I love your simple beautiful life your hard labours in supporting and honouring your family and your confidence in the Lord’s love for you. He loves you so very, very much, beloved. Jesus does not push me, or you, or anyone; he does in us, himself, by himself whatever he should require of us. And all he has ever required of us, or will ever do so in the future is only to believe in him and to love him with all our hearts.
So, beloved, only read my crazy letters with salt and a smile, and forgive my childish enthusiasms in them, please, please, please. All he asks is that we read the contents of this envelope very slowly very thoroughly; doing as we always rightly do – giving it all back to him from whence it came; where we search all things in him in his Spirit. And being afraid of nothing he asks nothing of us; all anyone can rightly speak is the simple truth as they know it; and knowing: only as we are known: the only way we know him, or anything.
Love does not disappoint: for when two people truly love in his agape love they cannot disappoint one another: for each is no better than the other...neither do they entertain any expectations other than to love and support and walk with one another more and more stronger and stronger every day. There’s nothing you could disappoint me with, beloved or anything frustrate me or annoy me, God forbid! I love you! I love you... perhaps now you can guess what the greatest fear in my life is....loosing you.
Well, I began this letter on the 10th of May, 2015 and now it is the 20th of May, Wednesday. I am only sharing my treasure with you, beloved ...peace... peace... peace. I am expecting nothing of you, dearest one, I wasn’t hoping for anything when I wrote this long letter, I was just writing the things on my heart to share with you, and they are all my joy! ...albeit it is joy all unspeakable full of his glory and therefore foolishness to this world we journey through on the Earth. If I could anticipate anything it would be that you would be happy with me for sharing all these precious things with you...my heart’s hope. And it is not that you don’t know all these things but because you do know them that I write. You have an anointing and you know all things and you have no need that any should teach you, least of all me: I am a woman, I am nothing. It was you who was chosen to speak. Truly I would a million times rather listen to you than you to me; to sit at your feet and wash them with my tears my highest honour.
Much love to you, my only friend,
your crazy friend,
Jay
P.S. Like the manna in the wilderness I understood these 4 new “leaves” (the first few pages of little book) were to be “eaten” at a certain rate also; one per day giving time to fully assimilate all of it. And whatever was quickened and in the instant became Life in you that was all and only in “the twinkling” and that was all and enough. And even that was not to be clung onto: Life was new every day. I think there is a 5th page and I guess that will come tomorrow; as no doubt a 6th and 7th as I write each day....being taken deeper and deeper within...seeing more and more clearly the unturned-around thinking of men by which they oppose their own selves and they have no idea!
I have often wondered about what you said, beloved, that you knew not one single person who could “hear” little book, or understand it, or like it; and yet you know many Christians, while I none really, you are the only one; but these Christians, you said, would not like it. It is the same here up here in the north, no one can bear it. Or, they cannot hear it....being as they hear with their own ears, and see with their own eyes, and so they don’t hear or see, at all; only his ears and eyes truly perceive; and they are in us only as we know as we are known. And so how can we not say this is true of our generation: “The time will come, and now is, when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears; and they shall turn away their ears from the truth.:
And yet again,
Much love, to you my precious one;
I will end here, but I can’t stop writing:
there is so much to share
and the time is short.
I’ll post you the rest of this letter soon: you have in this envelope all you can bear for now.
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