25.) Given All Of Everything That Mattered

Given all of everything that mattered

Made rich, abundant, and all complete

I, for all my happiness of it, could do nothing

But long to share what I had

Yet mine was the sadness of the full thing

Not able to give, because none could receive it:

Not SAME – not fitting in – no little space –

Like ‘blue’ cannot give to ‘orange’

It wasn’t orange, so orange would not accept it –

Like the bird that is free in air, is dead in water

Heaven’s things didn’t fit in Earth’s –

They couldn’t breathe there – like flowers

Not every nutrient was good for every plant

Perhaps my treasure would kill it?

It was like water, which cannot go where a dam is.

So all I could do was encrypt it, set it in cipher

Mystify the simple truth, make it palatable to others

Cloud the message, obscure it, dress it in hayricks

Making of it, nothing but a riddled muddle.

It was my sorrow that what I had was not wanted

I saw I was, and would be, ever alone.

                                    *

24.) I Didn't Try To Fill The Page . . .

I didn’t try to fill the page – I never knew

What I wanted to say – only those things

That came of themselves are here

Things that must matter to me most

Which continually came insistent to be told

And, though, my heart might flex its wings

And heavy as any fledgling,

Seek to try the air again, itself – it wasn’t ever

What the ‘trying me’ wanted that I said

My stories, spirit-told, the lines upsurge alone

Fluttering in the wind another’s music made

Sounding on a bow’s string

Striking the heart’s Aeolian harp

And playing there till he withdrew

To hold his peace, bide his time awhile

Yet, he was ever insistent, ceaseless, like the sea

Teeth white at the rocky base of towering cliffs

Eroding what he could of me

Getting further in to claim a glorious ground

And taking me in full, fulfill my life’s work

And all I ever wanted.

  *

23.) Strike From My Heart A Running Light . . .

Strike from my heart a running light

Strip from my rock a single spring

A searching gift of watered life ––

In its gentle Celtic splash its trickle in

Deep desired the long awaited country

Endless were its in-rayed delights

This land was hid and hazed with colour

Richly lined and drowned with shadows

Stooped and clouded the inward walk

The finding trail that got one there

The turning trail that mattered most ––

The lowering that ever counted

The under-layered way’s concealed

Where full and narrow none can follow

There the centering thrills of life –

The wind that searched one to the bone

Lit but dark the star that took one there

The world we long to enter we resist

The land of all desire, we despise – for pride

The all-knowing’s fraught with offence

Pull down our defences

Take us further through the veil

Let those that find your trail here

Dare to enter in!

                            *

The Light Tree . . . from The Light Tree Journal

22.) My Story Rends The Darkest Light . . .

My story rends the darkest light

Ascend my night-time’s screen

Let it fill and pass above 

Amongst the midnight stars

See - a tree’s reflected there

Its door within – opens in this moon

A river flows through it

Sapphire blue

The inner river sings – as it pours

But as in a seashell heard – its silent roar

Playing to the quiet 

Of the still well within

See, around the tree – love’s gold ring of light

Circled through the starry boughs, above:

Entwined, below – Sent kindly

Through the roots of fallen stars

See, the binding ring – through branch and root

Two realms – by love – joined as one

The earth – in heaven – was heaven on earth

The severing cleft bound love’s new work

                                            

                                             *

For the amending gentle I softly sing  

And tell about our love – as sun and moon

Though they will not hear it –

You made it so.

21.) I Bend And Rise I Wax and Wane . . .

I bend and rise – I wax and wane – filled

I grow and empty fade.

Empowered by the midday sun

Hidden – on the other side

I turn and shine – and in spirit – speak 

Myriad stories – mirror found

In the silver, sun-lit face – of the spouse, his moon

Spinning in the upside-down – his silent tales

Holding in the inside-out – pictures of his

Wayward way – visions in the night.

                                    *

20.) I Rise A Lifeless Form, Dead But Waiting . . .

               I rise a lifeless form, dead but waiting

The fire falls, and on me shines true

Wherever he finds room.

From his first refraction, lamp-lit nights

And silver sister-beams illumine

In all the phases of his bridal moon

Calling through the dark the sun’s own sound

From my inner face shining is his lesser light

Pulling by his power the inner thoughts of men

Turning in his mirrored beam their inner life

Until he falls again and melts below the Earth

Where no man slips beneath to steal his light  

                                     *

19.) There Wasn't Always A Silver Side To The Moon . . .

                            There wasn’t always a silver side to the moon

A side that faced the sun and shone like milk

Once I didn’t know the sun, once I didn’t see his face

My life as dead and dark as that sunken cave

My heart a frayed thing of music cut and lined with pain

A maze of drifting threads in severed thought

A floating thing of inner searching beams

That ever seek to meet their other end, and meld as one...

One with that which always sought me

The face I didn’t know, the sun I didn’t see...

Until, that is, they faded all away, and I was truly dead

And in utter emptiness longed for my end.

Death my beginning, in nothingness I lived again

As light came shimmering upon my severed side

Sieved me through and where it found no light my own

Took me by surprise and lit my face in his reflection.

       *

18.) The Labyrinth Unravels The Man-Tide Turns . . .

The labyrinth unravels the man-tide turns

Unmasked the puzzle, and by the blood of kings:

The spent wine they gave for the run of the new.

Wrought of emerald those eyes which saw beneath the press

That no more counted wealth by what could be seen...

No hidden silver stylus engraving life in wax

But a pen redeemed that etched the life in rock.

Which, from the inner cry, bled, and wore down the evasion

And so the seeing-prize: not to fear the press that crushed it.

Shine, love’s lake of tears that holds the life of many

Rekindle the fires and at the last moment.

*

17.) When Dark Is Past The World's View Changes . . .

When dark is past the world’s view changes

Mind meets mind, the newer takes the day

And gone the time we waste and see in part

Misread prosperity for greed

And then deceive ourselves for nought

The old stone of pain now turns a pearl

An open door through these newer waters seen...

The oyster opens out the treasure read and shown

And self’s exalt exchanged for what was truest grown

Took us further in to work us further out

                                            *

62.) Excalibur . . . A True Man Would Do Right . . .

A true man would do right

Even to his own hurt . . .

And if it bespoke his death

Not to save his own life

Then that hurt, to his own skin

Was no hurt, but very life itself.

And in that inner meeting place

There was, there, with it

No lifting of the two-edged sword

From the dark stone of offence

Without his drinking of the wine

From the Grail, the Sangraal, itself.

     *

16.) I Cannot Quickly Pass The Thing That Matters...

I cannot quickly pass the thing that matters

The furrowed line of Adam’s legacy in me

Its deepest twist, the hidden crooked thing in me

That trips me up, but tricking, avoids its censure

My subtle subterfuge that tells me fibs... but

The lie undone that hangs the apple on the tree

Reveals the core of what it is I truly need to see

To lift me clear of all, to fly in un-imprisoned air!

Light, the freeing thing comes not by might or power

What I cannot know in mind I know in spirit

That under life beneath the life I lead

The castled dream thick walled, un-scaled

That only slowly passes by, unknown, untried...

Misread the map beneath the Map that told my tale

That Book to all the throng is veiled

None can breach its crystal walls that will not fail

Light, the lonely thing, forever hid beneath the life

The only jewel of those, whom their own-selves knew

                                         *

15. ) Shall I Pave My Path With Pretty Lies?

Shall I pave my path with pretty lies?

Weave my way and line it with outer ease?

Take the wider way and with the world be deceived?

Well, outer-knowledge-shouting taking over

Would do so no more!

What was needed was come, the counting-fall

The difference, telling weeds – from flowers

Weeds – those knowledge-plants that multiplied  

Growing over everything and everywhere

From Flowers – those gladly obeying their given borders

Giving up their lives their hearts true –

Their knowledge of a different kind

That did not need to swarm and be seen

To show their beauty – but even of the truest plants

Older petals fade and fall in time for further

And the old order changeth giving place to new *

For time was and is that weeds from wheat be taken

And truth once despised be raised up, found needed.                

Unless truth was real it would not stand the test

The building that stood was built on blood

The bruised heart that lit the prism, telling real from false

                                        *

* Morte d’Arthur; Alfred Lord Tennyson

14.) Gone The Former Illusions From My Clouds...

Gone the former illusions from my clouds

Now is the white massed cloud, that’s after rain

Standing out, round with mountains, valleys,

Great gaps and depths – low on the horizon –  

Celebrating the whole of it...

They don’t anymore veil my dreams from me

Those clouds which come to drown me

Those laden with unlovely things of hardship

Grey, heavy steps in drops of merging dark

Come to threaten me with their blanketing deluge

Seeming to confuse – and blind me from my purpose –     

They may come as they will...

They can do nothing to me that was not needed

For my joy and growth – I saw it!

From the confusion my dreams rose all the brighter

Washed, dried – left shining – to draw me onward

And into that new-strengthened dream

Which was my destiny...

                                           *

13.) Grasped The Work Of Life Its Challenge Pain

               Grasped the work of life its challenge pain

Accepted by the lilies of a wider field

And understood by them

Life within was as a trophy to be won

And the challenge not for the fainthearted

For the work of it was extreme at the least

Few could know or understand it

For its work was rest the work surrender

Peace exposing pride love winning all

And the contrast in the un-work of life

The lilies toiling not, nor spinning

In their play of light and dark

Their changing...

Not knowing which was which...

Heaven with them...

Coming sweeping away all the wisdom

Of the Earth moving above and beyond it

Time was, time is; now time is come...

Coming both as predator and prey

The falcon and the lark, the lion and the lamb

Taking the turned one, and turned around

The pursued loving the pursuer

The offence dismissed

And the back-to-front of the counting-fall

The upside-down... now inside-out  

*

12.) I Couldn't Say The Day The Leaves Came Out...

I couldn’t say the day the leaves came out

When from winter’s death, spring came rushing up

Surging through the stem of me, waking me from sleep

Taking my part, taking me with it to use me again

From a time of barrenness to new flower and leaf

And soft painted pages of new sap wordlings

The timing of it never ours we cannot guess the day

Or know how much warmth and sunlight our spring needs

Or when inner rest has run its full course and won

And at last reaches up the stem to brave a new day

That our springtime will come again is certain

The world is round... never ceases to be so

I’m glad I don’t know the day my leaves come out

Glad my surprises come by surprise

                                                

                                                      *